From Chaos to Calm

This is my first blog post in many, many years, and I am happy to be back at it! I used to have a blog called Soulfood; it was about all things that fed my soul and lit me up from the inside out. I love to write and share, and my intention with this blog is to talk about all things yoga and wellness. There will be different categories to keep things organized, but I thought it would be appropriate to start exactly where I am, navigating the chaos and finding my calm.

It’s been a bumpy ride lately… I spent the second half of the winter, all of the spring, and the first half of the summer feeling like I was in fight-or-flight mode. Most of us have been there, probably more than once. For me, it shows up as tight muscles, poor sleep, racing thoughts, and frequent heart rate alarms on my smartwatch telling me my heart rate is elevated when I’m just chilling.

In February, I found out that retiring early from my almost 26-year teaching career at a community college was a possibility. This was definitely not on my radar and led to lots of reflection and tough conversations about what the future looked like. I ultimately decided to take the leap, and April 30th was my last day at my full-time job.

And then I found out that my mom (who lived in a different country) was sick and that things were progressing very quickly. This was challenging on lots of levels, not just logistically. In the end, I’m glad that I was there with her, and that I had the time, mental and emotional capacity, and the resources to make it possible.

A couple of weeks after my mom’s passing, I was leaving on a trip to Italy that was planned long ago. Initially it was hard to get excited. I felt conflicted about taking what felt like an indulgent trip when I "should" be grieving. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster, but also a wonderful experience, largely thanks to the amazing women I was travelling with.

As I navigated my way through the chaos to the calm, I continued to teach yoga, had wonderful support from my community, and friends and family checking in with me regularly. What a privilege to be surrounded by such love!

While I waited for my nervous system to recalibrate, I focused on routines, habits, and practices that helped me feel grounded.
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​I walked every day
drank lots of water
spent time with my dog and my partner
and walked in the woods

​I also went to therapy, got massages, saw my osteopath, and I booked some time at the spa. I realize these are not options for everyone, and I am so grateful that I have access to these resources.

I do think there are supportive options available for most folks, but sometimes it's hard to take that step. We're either afraid to reach out for help, or we're used to existing with chronic stress, or we don't have the luxury of time, or we feel guilty prioritizing ourselves. 

I don’t know if I’m fully on the other side of the chaos, but I do feel more like myself. I feel energized, creative, and centred.

I wrote down the things I want to return to as I move into this new season of life…

I want to embrace peace and quiet
I want to lean into adventures
I want to lead with authenticity
I want to create opportunities for connection and self-care

​Until next time. Stay grounded and stay bright, 
​Kelly